Monthly Archives: August 2013

The best as the enemy of the best

I stood with a 20 something yesterday and said that the best is the enemy of the best.  We bantered about that for a while.

The beginning rebuttal was that the good is the enemy of the best.  I totally understand that idea.  We live in a society where “the good” is not as defined in ancient days.  For us, the good is just a way of saying, “getting by.”  By implication we mean that we are doing a lot less than God would require.  But we are able to maintain some sense of equilibrium and willingly let this be sufficient for our lives.

Of course, when we are able to push past “the good,” we often find greater fulfilment in life.  “Push past” is the operative phrase, or in today’s jargon, “go to the next level.”  Unfortunately we are finding that going to the next level may be as much a step down as a step up.

Back to the best as the enemy of the best.  For those who have consistently striven for better, we are finding that we want more than competence for our lives.  In fact, some days we approach a new situation (for that is where the best is best demonstrated), and we find that we’ve “been there, done that, got the T shirt.”  Since we don’t need to do this over again for the sake of proving ourselves, why would we overdo ourselves to go to the “next level?”

And perhaps more importantly, have we really defined “the best” properly?  What if the best is being unorganized?  What if the best is just living with other people?  What if the best looks like failure?

What if the best is really a mix of giftings amongst a group of people where we spur each other on to love and good deeds, but don’t demand that all our love and good deeds look the same?  What if we really are here to glorify God (let others peak into who God is and just enjoy God ourselves), to love others and to know when that is the best we can do?

Your thoughts as I cogitate (a great little word that just means to thing about) on this idea would be appreciated.

New Oarsmen

OK, that really should read “oarspeople”!  A little nod to inclusive language.  But the concept is the same.

When I remarried, I expected changes.  Change is the part of life that meets the daily routine and shakes it’s head.

Both of our families have run on different paths for this last while.  Although the courting period of our relationship showed a few differences and many agreements, they were relatively peaceful times.

That part is getting used to the boat.  Finding the seats, grabbing the paddles, checking out the steering, making sure the hull is sturdy.

Six weeks ago we pushed out a bit from the dock.  During our time of courting,  we decided where our location would be.  We moved household goods a week or two before the marriage.  Then, following the marriage ceremony, we took two weeks of honeymoon.  Now we have had a week at our home, together with a 15 year old.

Our direction is firm.  God in first place and we as a couple are seeking to work together to glorify God through unselfish love for each other – helping to make each other what God wants us to be, and seeking to individually follow after God.

The coordination?  Sometimes we both grab for the same paddle or end up with no paddle in the water.  We watch as we shift from side to side.  And sometimes we can feel the jump forward as we both pull together.  For the most part, though, I have this funny feeling our first few months will look more like a zig zag than a straight arrow. 

The great thing?  We are both committed to each other and to God!  So, as we affirm each other and encourage each other, we look forward to the journey. 

As back and forth as it might be!!!

On raspberry freezer jam and walking the block

Having returned from our honeymoon, the regularlity of life has returned.


We have both found that life is new.  Yes, we eat our meals each day and continue to breathe.  We arise in the morning and sleep at night.

Beyond that, we adjust to things that arise.  Together. 

The idea of community – more than one – means that we think outside of ourselves.  The best people I have met, that are single, are connected deeply with others.  Those couples who exhibit health in their relationships live in submission and humility to others.

And so, we have talked about little things, like how kitchen drawers are organized.  We have conversed on buying another vehicle.  In a funny way, both decisions have about the same weight.  In terms of the use of our resources, there is a large difference.  But in terms of our shared experience and growth together, they rank much the same.

In the last few days a few exercises have been helpful to our health.  We received some raspberries.  Raspberries deteriorate quickly unless they are changed into another format.  So, together, we worked on that – with one benefit being raspberry freezer jam.  On the other hand, we have also gone for walks around the block.  Although we may not talk much, or we talk a lot, we are together.

Together is good!