The sun rises

When you cast your thoughts back a few months, 6:00 in the morning was steeped in darkness.  Today the shades of orange tinge the sky as I write these thoughts.

I have been reminded that almost two years have passed since my first wife, Jill, passed away.  I am working on some arrangements for that day that will be a reminder and I hope an encouragement.

Days were dark as that winter season in life began.  I have had many thankful days since.  I want to gather those “thankfulnesses” into a group.  I’m not sure how that will look at this moment, but I know that I am called by God to be thankful. 

I also want to touch base with people.  Perhaps this is the hardest – and I realize the intensity of a death brought many people back into my life.  As things normalized (or took on a new normal), the  need for constant contact became less.  Now, as part of that thankfulness, touching base again would be helpful.

As I write these words, I also recognize the various levels of grief that surface at a time like this.  For all the projects and plans, I know that I must leave space for “alone” grief first.  As much as pushing forward into a new day is necessary, releasing the past day is also necessary.  Both make for health.

So, if my plans are delayed, that is just what it is.  The delay will not be a lack of care for others, but a time for me to relive, refocus and renew.

Now, I have to ask myself – how am I going to carve out that space in my life?

One thought on “The sun rises

  1. I have learned so much from your blog. The happy ones, the sad ones, the inspiring ones, and all those that were just insights into a day. Marking memorials through time leaves a wonderful legacy for the next generation. And your grandkids will enjoy the glimpses into grandpa’s life.

    Sometimes I catch myself wondering down memory lane and discovering that it is often a learning experience not just a reminder of each event – — like each event takes on a new meaning when reflected upon or there is a glimpse of something missed the last time I wondered down the same memory lane.

    How is it possible to seem so long ago and just like last week – at the same time.

    God Bless.

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