Death and Transformation

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How do two seemingly unrelated events change a life?

I’m trying to figure that out, but it is happening.

Jill’s death has given me opportunity this Sunday to speak on how she modelled the Christian life.  My original drafts worked on up to 16 different ways.  As I pared it down, there are a mere handful that I will talk about this Sunday (you can find the sermon later today on our website – www.kindersleyalliance.com under the sermon tab).

This morning I was looking at an event that I had to miss because of the memorial service for Jill.  The agenda of the event (NCD 3 colors of leadership) helped people look at their strengths and weaknesses in leadership.  Prior to the event I asked five people to assess my leadership.

The results were not totally unexpected.  I have a strong tendency to help people realize their strengths and assess their weaknesses.  The weak area initially surprised me.  I need to be not only modeling leadership to others, but also training them for their leadership. 

Jill had a great capacity to train – I was always seeing the potential in others.  She would find advice exploding from her mouth upon the first indication of a problem or an opportunity in a person’s life.  I would encourage them to explore their understanding of who they were. 

Now, I’m pushing to become balanced.  Maybe giving a little advice is not a bad thing.  Maybe taking a person from seeing potential to putting feet to that potential is right where I should be.

I do not ask for anyone to die, but if they are to die, let their death bring life!!

To my wife

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Tucked away in a drawer – you have to think this was a treasure Jill kept!

In 1994, for Christmas I wrote her a poem.  We have, for a number of years, not been in need of anything.  Other than love!  This was my Christmas present to her that year.

I seldom say all I wish I could,

More seldom say all I should!

Endurance in struggles of new directions,

Lasting through our children’s corrections,

Preparation of culinary delights,

Companionship though days and nights

These all are signs of love unbounded,

By that love I am surrounded.

Thank you, my lover, my wife!

Christmas 1994

Apologies and context

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My grandson wanted some snack.  I wanted him to wait.

So I told him, “Wait til the hand on the clock says ten.”

Christopher intently stared at the clock and came to me just a few minutes later.

“The hand went past ten – I want my snack.”

I took a look.   The minute hand had only crept forward a few beats.  There were at least ten more minutes before the goal would be reached.

He insisted and we had a little war of the wills on our hands.

Then his mother intervened.  He explained the situation to her.  And she pointed out to me that the sweep hand that tells seconds had gone past the ten a number of times.

Apologies offered and my intent clarified – and Christopher was off to play and back when the minute hand hit ten.

I’m a widower

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“I’m a widower.  I don’t know what that means.”

This phrase has been on my lips the last few days.  As I rode back from my wife’s death bed, my son heard this repeated.  I’ve mentioned it more than once to friends.

Bruce Gibson, our piano tuner, talked about his mother of 91.  She had lost her first husband at 75 years of age.  She remarried and a short time ago, her current husband, who as97, passed away. 

The other day she was to head out with her children.  They looked at her and said, “You’re not wearing any makeup!”  They didn’t know their mother without makeup.  In some ways, she didn’t know herself at this point.

But her mind was sharp and her spirit undaunted.  She turned and headed back to apply makeup, saying, “You’re right.  I’m single again!”

Life can pull us down or remind us that makeup isn’t a bad thing!