Monthly Archives: April 2015

Mental health seems to be a topic of concern nowadays.  While the sphere of discussion is broad, there is a point of contact for me in the whole area of grief and suffering, stress and transition.

I recently listened to a mental health webinar (a seminar on the web – without the interaction and sense of presence found in an actual face-to-face session – an information session and not an interaction time – a rant for another day!). 

One speaker made the point that the church should be a “safer place to suffer.”

Tullian Tchividjian (in an article in the latest Prairie’s Servant Magazine, p. 12) makes the following statement about being in “church”

When an admission of suffering or weakness is interpreted as a lack of faith, honesty soon falls by the wayside, leaving the sufferer lonelier than before.

The church (the people, not the building) needs to be as safe, or safer than the bar, or the local service club, or the neighbours next door.  We need to believe that God is not surprised by pain and suffering and their consequences.  We don’t need to deny them either.  A listening ear is paramount.  A recognition of the anger and trauma of loss is necessary.

We have heard that for some time.  Hopefully our practice is improving.

The other side to this is when a sufferer quickly steps out and returns to a “normal” approach to life.  Corney’s wife died, and within a very short time he was again greeting people at the door to the church.  His enthusiasm was catching and he was the encourager, instead of the one needing encouragement. 

Soon an underground discussion started, trying to find ways to “help” Corney deal with his loss.  He should be grieving, he should be sad, he should be . . .

Corney was fine – the others weren’t.  Sometimes a safer place to suffer means letting go of our ideas of the timeline of sorrow, and exploring with honesty a person’s current life.

That’s when we can be a safer place to suffer!

What is a church?

There are many facets to that question.  There is the theological view of the bride of Christ.  There is the social view of the body of Christ.  There is the vocational view of the spiritual gifts.  This could go on.

I want to focus on a phrase I heard just recently. 

The church is a safe place to suffer.

Unfortunately for many years we have lived with the idea of the church being a safe place to pretend you weren’t suffering.  We all showed up trying to be perfect.  We seldom shared our problems or hurts.  And heaven forbid (quite literally) that sin would be found amongst us!

After years in the church (and as other older saints will testify), the best place to be is the church.  When the church recognizes that none of us are perfect.  Yes, we are all desirous of being holy, as God is holy.  But, we fall and fail.  Others trespass upon our fragile souls and crush us and cause us to lose faith.  We cannot see the future because we are presently overwhelmed.

The church then grabs a hold of us, and lifts us up – in word and in deed.  And encourages us to continue on. 

That is a safe place to suffer.  That is the church.

I have been captivated by our society’s obsession on fame and shame. 

We desire to create celebrity in every area and avenue of our society.  For those who are heavily into the idea of excellence, we have a business, sports and arts awards system.  For those who are into equality, we create a system where everyone gets an award.

The point is – fame is an investment we would all like to have shares in.  We all want to be honored by someone.  Because we have lost faith in God, we do not allow ourselves to be honored by God.  Our society is fickle – that has gone on for millenia (check out Jesus from Palm Sunday to Resurrection Sunday).  Our own small circle of friends is probably the closest we come to being a place where we expect honor.  Facebook and other social media have “outed” that thought – too many friends are skin deep only and are willing to expose us to ridicule and shame.

So all that leaves as far as fame is ourselves.

Not a pretty picture. 

For you and I are fragile.  We are made from dust and when we die we go back to dust.  If all we can live for is the fact that we are here, if there is nothing beyond this life, and in this life there is no permanence or true recognition outside of ourselves (for when we die, if we are the only ones who honored us, our legacy will die with us) – why continue on?

I dreamt/ had a vision when I was young.  This vision has shaped my life. 

I was looking at a my upcoming career (I was 17 at the time).  I wondered about becoming a manager in a business – like my youth sponsor from our church.  A voice kept asking me if this was a true contribution to the world, and a thing that I should put my life into.  In the vision, I compared the longevity of that business to that of working for the church – which had eternal roots and would always be there.  The choice was obvious.  And the vision vanished!

At the time, I did not realize that this was a matter of fame and shame.  As I approach retirement, I see that I was being directed to consider receiving honor, not from a worldly human organization, but from an eternal divine organization.  In that way, any shame that may have been heaped upon me for following / being employed by the church would not be able to stand the honor that would be lavished on me by God.

40 years later, I’m still affected by the recognition that in God I am recognized.  Not for the work that I have done – although this is a part of judging my commitment to God and this career path.  Rather, I am recognized because God chose to recognize me and to give me honor, and to adopt me into his family and kingdom.

Well, that is a lot of words – more than my usual amount.

This essay on fame and shame is also a first attempt to philosophize and organize some of my thoughts in a written form on a public forum.

I’d love to hear if you have comments.  I’m sure there are points where I need to be clearer (or just plain explain what on earth I just said).  And perhaps there are points that made sense that need expansion.

Thanks.

From a committee meeting (which sometimes can actually be very productive!)

Oftentimes we begin our prayers for God’s blessing of resources with grasping for a certain amount – in dollars, volunteers, materials.  We are expecting that God will have to really work to help us out – we can hardly believe that God would be able to supply that amount.

What if we began with the resource pool as our first understanding.  Let’s remember that God has infinite supplies.  They are there for the asking.  Our prayer is not to knock breathlessly awaiting an answer for our “request for funds”.  Our prayer should be to make sure we know what to ask for, and why we are asking.  Get the request aright and the resources are ours.

Not a bad approach.