On listening to the same thing over again

So, I’m listening to James K. A. Smith lecture at various colleges and universities.  I can almost gauge what will come next.

This is both security and boredom. 

I know where his next steps will take him.  I can probably tell his next story.  There is a sense of home to what he says.  I’ve heard it before, I hope to hear the same thing again.  Yesterday, today, tomorrow, James K. A. Smith is the same.

On the other hand, I get kind of bored because I know what is coming next.  I’d like to hear some new revelation, some new approach to the old world around us.  Are there no new stories to illustrate the point?

And the point is, my head rehearses what he says – over and over even after the video is done.  And my heart subconsciously dissects what is said, finding place where the peace of the video becomes more than just talk and delivery, but becomes weighted heaviness within my soul, a place that anchors my virtues and my character.  As I continue in this whole life reflection on what has been repeated over and over, I’m coming to a deep seated sense of my own inclinations.  I can’t explain it all yet, neither can I live just on the feeling that this is right.  Somewhere in between, I’m finding a wholeness that is born out through repetition.

Long paragraph to say- the dough is best stirred more than once!

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