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So, I’m listening to James K. A. Smith lecture at various colleges and universities.  I can almost gauge what will come next.

This is both security and boredom. 

I know where his next steps will take him.  I can probably tell his next story.  There is a sense of home to what he says.  I’ve heard it before, I hope to hear the same thing again.  Yesterday, today, tomorrow, James K. A. Smith is the same.

On the other hand, I get kind of bored because I know what is coming next.  I’d like to hear some new revelation, some new approach to the old world around us.  Are there no new stories to illustrate the point?

And the point is, my head rehearses what he says – over and over even after the video is done.  And my heart subconsciously dissects what is said, finding place where the peace of the video becomes more than just talk and delivery, but becomes weighted heaviness within my soul, a place that anchors my virtues and my character.  As I continue in this whole life reflection on what has been repeated over and over, I’m coming to a deep seated sense of my own inclinations.  I can’t explain it all yet, neither can I live just on the feeling that this is right.  Somewhere in between, I’m finding a wholeness that is born out through repetition.

Long paragraph to say- the dough is best stirred more than once!

Well, the weather is cool out today.  Deep freeze cool!

At the local grocery store, I was heading out the door into the sub-zero weather.  Trails of hoary breath could be seen emitting from exiting shoppers.  Branches were laden down with crystalline ice.

A slight eavesdropping moment occurs.

“What are you going to be doing today?”

“I’m going home to chill.”

And here I thought life was already cool enough!!!

I was in a group of around 70 people yesterday.  The leader asked how many had made New Year’s resolutions.  I promptly stuck up my hand (I’m hoping to lose some weight and do more writing), and joined another three – maybe four volunteers!

A number of years ago, that number would have been reversed.  We all wanted others to know what our New Year’s resolutions were.  We talked about good things that we wanted to do.  We set up strategies and programs to reach those goals.  And we expected that others would find out, so why not tell them.  If they kept us accountable, all the better.

I suppose we don’t want to live with guilt anymore.  The best way to do that is to have no rules and no goals.  That way you will hit your expectations.  I figured when I used to jump hurdles in high school the best way to win was to lower the height of the hurdle.  Sure made the run faster!

I suppose we don’t want to think that there are any ideals that transcend our own ideas of what is right and wrong.  And if what I say is right and wrong is contradicted by another person, then just ignore them.  When my friend said they had resolved to give up homework in high school, we all laughed and said, “not going to happen!!”  Nowadays we just say “whatever”.

I suppose we are lazy.  Live for the moment.  If you don’t have to plan, then you don’t have to waste your time figuring out what to plan and why you are planning.  If it feels good, do it – if not, maybe some other day – or not!!

Maybe I like truth, and beauty and happiness and a new day, and something to look forward to.  And maybe I won’t keep all my resolutions.  And maybe that’s alright, because God knows my failures and willingly walks with me to find that good life that God always wanted for me!

Some days thinking back and imagining a previous season is just plain fun.