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I awoke today to an epiphany – which merely means I’ve been surrounding myself with various thoughts, dreams and desires and this morning something became clear.

My training has pushed me to love footnotes (sometimes), create bibliographies (I have a Master of Library Science), and research thoroughly.  I have often felt that I couldn’t let a piece of written material pass through my fingers without complete regard for plagiarism.

I’m 60 (actually 61) now.  I’ve decided I’m going to plagiarize my life.

There are things that I see my way.  I’m not sure what others’ positions are on them, but this is me.  If I don’t write from my perspective, I’m not true to myself (a current fad in life coaching).  There is some truth to that deep down desire – I surround that desire with the greater desire to know God and be an individual “under God”.

With that codicil in mind, I am feeling a deep urgency to write.  God pounded that word into my head a few weeks ago when I asked him what I should do with my life when I grow up.  I was secretly hoping for things like influence people, be a success, be financially stable.

None of that!  Just write.

And then I realized that I have been less than forthcoming with my writing – perhaps fearing rejection (a grade six phobia spurred on by a class of laughing students after I had poured my heart into a short essay on the white tailed deer).  But maybe more fearing that moral and ethical dilemma of not having researched enough, or asked enough questions, or perfected the art of my writing.

I felt that burdened lifted this morning.  “Write about your side of the fence.”  That was the striking epiphany as I pedalled leisurely on my exercise bike.

Yes, I’m positive I will plagiarize someone’s idea that has become my own.  I will be excited about a twist of phrase that I have jotted down from somewhere and I won’t be able to find the author’s name.  I will even find myself going in circles and probably contradicting myself (may someone point this out to me as I go!).

My thought is to create another publishing effort – another blog.  Not sure how it will look – just thoughts from my side of the fence.

Let’s see how that goes.

Yesterday we entered a home of a friend where grief has buried a jewel, and is seeking to understand the light that still shines.

When I lost my first wife, I wasn’t sure what that would be like.  I hadn’t done this before.  Much like my friend, I sought out others, read and journeyed as best as possible.  For two years and a half years I have trusted in God and placed one foot in front of the other.

There are many good things that followed from that obedience.  I am remarried to an amazing lady, I have additional family, I am headed towards retirement (which is really a way of saying that I am busier than ever pursuing new visions), and I have a greater appreciation for the church (which needs to be redefined in this day and age – it’s not the building or a one hour meeting – helpful items but not the core).  And that is just a sample of those things that I am thankful for.

And so, we talked yesterday of downsizing.  Logic says that a large percentage of the “things” around the house needed to be divested.  But as you examine them individually, the words arise, “I’m not sure.”

While there may be some  indecision in this statement, this is not necessarily a way to put off a decision.  The light from the past is still shining and the reflections strike us at odd times.  We soak in the light – not rushing but intentionally pushing forward to absorb what is given, and then we release the slivers that are left.  For others to enjoy.

Some of the light will remain in our possession for years and may even be passed on as a shining beacon to the next generation.

I stood as we contemplated various “things” and was thankful that my friend is seeing the light that shines even in death!

As I push into the new day, I’m excited.

We are off to submit a passport renewal for me.  Five years ago, I headed to the same office – for the same purpose.  Now my looks are changed – I have a beard.  I’m remarried and in a new capacity in my current employment.  I have six “kids” and am looking at the adventure of retirement in the near future.

Other than that, everything is the same (OK, there are a few other things that have changed).

We will then head off to Prince Albert.  My wife will complete a quote/examination of a painting job.  And I will visit with my brother-in-law/good friend.

Finally, the day will end with a supper at Burger King and a celebration of a birthday with my granddaughter, Hannah.  Perhaps that will be the highlight of the day!

Of course, you never know what God will have in store!

Some days certain ways of saying things just catch your imagination.  Here’s one:

Weathering the Struggling.

Now, I really don’t want to unpack, (or is it unshovel) that phrase.  What I do want to do is talk a bit about the origin (provenance).

Last night we had been singing at a choir concert.  An older relative of mine (shirttail plus a few threads) was there with her “nephew” (also one of those relatives who is a bit past the first generation). 

In the refreshment time afterwards, we began to chat.  I hadn’t seen him for a while, and his own life has been one of transition, much as mine.  In the midst of the conversation – which was rather erudite (if you know what that means you will know the talk was on a certain plane) – there were just a few twists of phrase that caught me.

I asked him if I could use one of them.  He gave me the permission. 

In a twist of thinking, I asked him if he would initial a paper with the phrase on it.  And so he did.

So, here is the text of that small sheet of paper:

“Weathering the struggling” – Ross Bowden, March 31, 2015 (Herschel Cantata)

Not sure this qualifies as copyright permission, a trademark or just a good way to lay out words.  If the phrase does become famous, the credit goes to Ross.

Check it out today!  Go out and catch some phrases.