Uncategorized

I was talking with a friend yesterday.  He pointed out that, based on the “Mickey Mouse” stressor scales that can be found almost anywhere, my life is in the red zone.

Within a two year period of time I have had my first wife pass away, courted and married a second wife, moderated one of the most contentious assemblies of our denomination, work on a transition plan for ministry which has been completely overturned, been asked to consider running for Mayor, watched the generation ahead of me (those I had looked up to for years) rapidly decline and some die, and . . .

These are good size challenges.  William Bennett says in his Book of Virtures:  “Give yourself and even greater challenge than the one you are trying to master and  you will develop the powers necessary to overcome the original difficulty.”  I think my life has certainly had that aspect to it.  Often not intentionally!

But, I’m convinced that there is a greater approach that has kept my sanity and let’s me move ahead.  As I gaze on God, there is a very real sense in which He is bigger than everything that comes my way.  In life, there are times at which the next challenge is beyond my abilities.  Nothing is beyond God’s abilities – he created the whole thing!

Perhaps I could modify Bennett by saying: “Gaze upon God, and the even greater challenge you are trying to master will be put into perspective.”

Can’t say every day I’m able to live in that reality, but I’m finding that it is better than the alternative.

Well, that is one way to look at it.  As we age, we tend to slow down in our vim and vigor.  We still have all sorts of thoughts and ideas.  But we, hopefully, have much that slows us down. 

Slowing down and patience are things that I have been working on.  I have had surgery on my knees and eyes.  Both of these have allowed me to speed up – I can get to what I can see now – without a great amount of effort.

But should I?  Patience is teaching me that a little forethought and time to cogitate is not a bad thing.  Less people get wounded by careless words or anger without thought.  Opportunity for God to speak into the situation is always a welcome thing.

And so, I am willing to look back over what I have learned and begin to think things through.

By the way, this piece of wisdom came to me in a journal entry in March 5, 2001 as I was contemplating on the book of Joel.  Hopefully I’ve learned a bit more since then – hopefully I’m applying what I wrote!!

I have been working through the matter of being a planner.  I am not going to say that we shouldn’t plan.  In fact, I am a believer in the work that it takes to make things work. 

But, I am seeing more and more that the gifting of God for a planner is a also a possible curse.  The planner can take over from God, and make things work to his or her satisfaction.  Often not as a conscious thing, but more as a remnant of a selfishness which we seem to inherit at birth.

I like what Chris Tomlin had to say on this.

If you look back and go, “it’s worked perfectly to my plan”, then it’s about your glory.

I guess I want life to be about God’s glory.  And so, I am consciously not planning (at least in my own strength).  I am trying to spend more time asking God what His plans are.  Haven’t figured all this out (and a younger colleague of mine was disappointed in that – he wondered how he would ever figure things out if I hadn’t figured them out at my age!).  But God is good and will continue to work in my life both to do his good pleasure and to bring glory to Himself.

As some of you will know, transition plans that had been in place for the next while at our church have been changed.  This means I am  in the midst of my own personal retreat time (in the midst of continuing work responsibilities).

The phrase that has stuck in my mind  is, “Gaze on God.”  This morning it was not easy to do just that.  Yesterday more than one event meant readjusting again and again.  My first inclination is to make a plan, or to retreat into the worst case scenario.   I think my first inclination is probably misplaced!

My gaze today has been prompted by Romans 11:33-36 (New Living Translation)

³³ Oh, how great are God’s riches and wisdom and knowledge! How impossible it is for us to understand his decisions and his ways!

³⁴ For who can know the Lord’s thoughts?
Who knows enough to give him advice?

³⁵ And who has given him so much
that he needs to pay it back?

³⁶ For everything comes from him and exists by his power and is intended for his glory. All glory to him forever! Amen.

As I looked through some journals of previous years, I saw that same  set of verses pop up.  These were the verses that came to mind on July 18th, 2002 right after the funeral for my father-in-law, Al Cooper, who had passed away suddenly. 

We wonder at circumstances – particularly those over which we have no control and for which we have no plan. 

God, let me get a new glimpse of  you today.