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Not often do I have a combination day of coffee and chocolate.

Coffee is not my preferred beverage and I seldom drink it.  In the midst of the morning’s activities, I combined coffee with chocolate, not realizing what most people know.  Two shots of caffeine are better than one!  And one is more than enough for me.

By mid afternoon (the morning repast was in my blood system by then) I was well on the way to a day of busy-ness.  Not that there weren’t things to be done – there were. 

Every once in while I would look to see how the time was going.  Way too fast!  And so I ended up skimming past coffee break (good thing – didn’t need more coffee!), into the supper hour and past the nine o’clock hour without feeling a need for a break.

The operative word here is “need” for a break.  By 10:00 in the evening I was starting to yawn, and I sensed the caffeine had worn off. 

As unusual as this event was, I’m just not sure being artificially pumped up is the best way to complete all the tasks of a day.  Which makes me wonder how a Tim Horton’s society survives! 

At a fast pace, but at what price?

The days of mourning are never done.  Nor should they be.  Days of hopelessness, on the other hand, are devastating.

Soon after my wife, Jill’s, death, I determined to follow the injunction of Christian Scriptures – “we do not mourn as those who have no hope.”  I listened to a song by Michael W. Smith called “Welcome Home” and imbibed of the truth that Jill has a much better place where she now lives, and moves and has her being.  I thank God for that.

My tears are far fewer these days.  I do not fear the coming days.  I am excited to have a new relationship, which while different, has the sense of God written in bold letters over our togetherness.

But, yesterday I had tearless, fearless, wordless grief.  I was tired (and perhaps that was a catalyst).  More than that, I was returning to tasks that reflected the busyness of days spent with Jill.  Those were days where she provided a pillar of strength. 

I miss that. 

I did not cry – although my soul wept.  I did not fear the day – although my emotions were roiling within me.   I cannot explain what happened – this blog is a very feeble attempt.  All I know is that Jill was not there and I missed her.  And God was there and I was sustained.

Tearless, fearless, wordless grief directs me to God – where I know that I have complete and utter safety, security and satisfaction!  Thank you, Jesus!

The holiday weekend this year was well named.  Beginning with Valentine’s day until late yesterday, I have had quite the family adventure.

A few months ago none of this was planned.  OK, I started with some vague ideas in August, then more concrete ones as the days went on.

3,000 kms later, I visited with my fiance on Valentine’s Day, had some of her children accompany her to visit here in Kindersley over the weekend, visited with my daughter and her family in Edmonton, visited with Doug Smith and his family, had supper with some of Cynthia’s family.

And now I’m home.  Still with visions of white outs, and slippery patches and generally not the nicest weather.  On the other hand, with visions of family that I will cherish.

God plans our adventures, and this has been one of them!

I am on an adventure.   For basically a week’s time I have and will travel about 30 hours on the road.

Some of the roads were icy, and others are forecasted to have blowing snow.  For a prairie winter, that is not unusual but still requires focus. 

Some of the time will be with friends and family.  Others by myself.  I don’t mind the chatter of family, I don’t mind the solitude of driving solo.

In between the travels I will preach and be a part of a Board of Elders meeting.  Pleasure and work combined will make this week memorable.

So, if you do not see a lot of blog entries – you’ll know why.  Doesn’t mean I have nothing to report.  In fact, the opposite is probably true.

As some have told me in these past few days – may you have safe travels.  As some of you travel over this “Family Day” weekend, may you also have safe travels – and bring back great memories!!