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I heard a testimony of a residential school survivor today. 

Residential schools were put in place by the Canadian government and administered by various agencies.  The scandals in these schools were, unfortunately, multitudinous.  Although some things that happened were probably unintentional or misguided, there is little doubt that deception, assault, greed, lust and other such non-virtues entered in.

Thus, the memories of survivors are often horrendous, or in some cases clouded for sake of sanity.

One survivor mentioned that for 28 years he survived by being a “born again Christian”.  Then, to receive his compensation as a victim of the residential school, he had to relive these memories.  And in so doing, he went to drink and despair.

I wonder how he had interpreted his version of God.  I wonder if His God was able to take him through despair as well as covering over the past sins.  Sometimes I wonder if suppressing an offense can be done.  When is real healing actually fully completed?   When the sin is confronted, can God take us through this?  What does it mean that God is there?  Can an offense from another person be truly forgiven?

These are precisely the thoughts that this series on the CBC radio will be heading into tomorrow.  I’ll  have to listen and see what comes next!

Every once in a while a short thought just summarizes something that’s been niggling the back of your mind for years.  All the times you’ve tried to put it into words, the words don’t turn out right.

Well, here is a thought from Larry Osborne (as quoted in Men of Integrity devotional from his book, “Ten dumb things smart Christians believe”)

A lot of us imagine our conscience to be a spiritual thermometer.  We place it into any situation and it tells us the moral temperature – too hot, too cold, or just right.  That’s not how our conscience works.  It isn’t a spiritual thermometer.  It’s a spiritual thermostat  The difference is important.  Thermostats don’t define hot or cold.  They reflect our definitions of hot and cold.

. . . That’s how the conscience works.  It’s a spiritual thermostat.  We set it to the standards we choose.  It doesn’t tell us if we’re violating God’s standards.  It tells us when we’re violating our standards.

. . . And since our conscience is no more trustworthy than the standard it’s calibrated to, we can end up feeling very good about some very bad things.

. . . When rightly understood and functioning properly, our conscience is a valuable early warning device.  Like a yellow and red light, it tells us to slow down, be cautious, or slam the brakes.  And when it does so, it’s time to check Scriptures before proceeding.

Mamma’s and Pappa’s lead singer was Denny Doherty – a Canadian.  In a documentary which I found on Bravo.ca, he discusses death and dying with reference to the death of his wife, Jeanette.  Check out Clip 8 of “Here I am”, the 2:00 minute mark.  Here is a sample.

Doherty:  I watched her take her last breath, counted the seconds between each breath, then heard the last one.  That’s it, and then she was gone.  Where did she go?  Not physical.  She’s not here any more.  What was that that just left?  And where did it go?  I physically felt (breathes out).

Interviewer:  Did that give you some sense of peace or some sense of unease?

Doherty: Oh, terrified.  It’s the unknown.  I don’t know.  Where did she go?  She was here a minute ago. 

It’s gonna happen to me.  Yea, it’s gonna happen to you. 

Where are you going?  I don’t know.  Do you? (in anexaggerated tone): “Yes, I’ve been there.  I’ve had an out of body experience.  Where are we going?  Are we going to Cleveland?”

Right questions! 

There is a better answer!

Well, this cold just continues.  By noon I was stuffed up and a little rest helped.  The rest of the day has been inside.  I had one project that required me to head outdoors, but someone volunteered.

This sitting around is tiresome.  Imagine those who are restricted to hospital beds (there is one I’m visiting who has been in for weeks).  Imagine those who face depression (there are those in the past who have waiting for a phone call).  Imagine being snowed in (wouldn’t a number of us love that right now)!

May you have a good evening and find sufficient grace and strength for the day!