daily life as life goes on . . .

I should know by now. Life is never a stand still and wait type of situation.  We can adopt that stance, and find that the stream of life (that carries nurture and nutrition) passes us by. We have bought a house.  We could just leave it stand as is.  But both of us are inclined to push past the current state into a “together” state.  Together we are building a new home for ourselves.  Together we are working on new approaches to problem solving.  Together we are finding a path that we can travel over these next few years. Past comfortable!  Not a bad path to take.

It’s one of those activities that are unexpected – and not much activity to it! I sat on the front steps of my brother-in-law’s place yesterday.  We both talked of life in the family.  And of the death of our wives.  Sunday had been three years since my first wife passed away.  His wife passed away last year. We make an interesting pair.  We have been friends for around 20 years.  We have been in-laws for two years.  The cross-over has been smooth.  We just have a greater arena of discussion.  The sun was shining.  The grass was growing.  Our discussion ranged from selling and upgrading houses to the new normals of life.  Would I trade this friendship?  No.  We have gone through family stressors, church transitions and philosophical debates.  All of them have made us both better men.  And we are both seeing the wisdom of passing on any wisdom we have gathered to other men. Now, that is friendship.

Each year is a new experience.  We celebrate birthdays, wedding anniversaries, even sobriety. Today, I commemorate the third year since my first wife passed away.  If I were to talk of the last three years, transition would be the first word that comes to mind.  Lots and lots! I remember back three years to that day I held Jill in my arms as she collapsed, certain that something had happened to her heart.  She was one of the best gauges of her own health I have ever seen.  She knew.  Within 24 hours, despite superb care in the Cardiac Care Unit, she was dead. We sang over her in the last hours.  Friends and family gathered.  The memories are vivid. And then she walked in her next moment without heart problems.  With her friend, confidante and rescuer – Jesus.  That picture, for me, is as vivid as those last hours of gasping breath and dying mercy. These things stand out to me on this anniversary!

So, seven of us are sitting around a table at a senior center. As we chat, we laugh and reminisce.  The seniors at the table (oops, I forgot, we were all over 60 – so, there were 5 “senior” seniors and two of us “juniors”) talked of the old days and living in these new days. Eventually we looked at each other.  My aunt and her husband were there.  Another lady had a sister who had married the brother of another man at the table.  And as we went round the table, this was a time of discovery of who was just continued. In the end, we were all related, by blood or marriage. Not too often that happens, but it is one blessing (and some days curse) of living in a small town.  I was glad to announce that I would be buried in this town.  They were glad as well.  Even that thought had its meanderings, as we talked about where in the cemetery we would be buried. OH . . . the fun of growing old with those who know who you are.