daily life as life goes on . . .

My first regional supervisor in ministry, Bob Gould, once asked me if I would become a puppet in my ministry.  OK, the actual question was much more circumspect (politically correct), but that was the intent.

He had encountered Jill and knew she was quite strong.  I did too!  That’s why I married her.  I needed someone who could stand up to me.  Someone I could listen to with respect.

30 some years later, I would have to say that the marriage and ministry wasn’t so much about puppetry as about dancing.

As partners, we sometimes stepped on each other’s toes – and even got out of sync at times.  But we never doubted that we would come back to each other’s arms.  We never doubted that life was good – no, best – when we were together and not apart. 

Early on in our marriage we had become busy – both of us seeming to be in different places at the same time.  And never together.  One night we had one of those discussions all marriages need.  Some would call it a brawl!  When we were finished, I scrawled in crayon on a scrap piece of paper something like this, “We will work TOGETHER.”

The paper was lost – initially a magnet held the document on our filing cabinet and in our many moves from house to house, the scrap slipped away. 

But the thought was never lost – nor was the dance ever sweeter!!

I felt very privileged to be asked to attend a memorial for Jill at the Prince Albert Alliance Church where we had served for 11 years.  Two ladies, Beth Gobeil and Connie Warkentin, instigated the service.  Others joined in!  Over 100 attended.

Food was provided, a worship band appeared, people gave tributes and the evening was filled with courage for those grieving!  And that was not just me.  The tributes included the way Jill had impacted people – even in ways I did not realize.

One repeated impact was a song Jill had introduced back in the late 1990’s – “When the night is falling”.  Written by Dennis Jernigan, the song refers to God singing over us. 

More than one expressed how that short introduction – only given once – had inspired new hope in their lives.  We often come to worship services to sing to God – but do we realize that God sings to us (Zeph. 3:17)?

Here is the last verse of that song (applicable to Jill!):

When this life is over and the race is done, I will hear you calling, “Come” and I will come while you sing over me!

I wonder what song Jill is hearing right now??

Wearing a wedding ring has been second nature to me for over 35 years.  For a few decades I’ve been unable to remove the ring (something about good cooking and contented living made the ring finger a little larger than when we got married).  And I never had a reason to remove it!!

Yesterday I attended a music festival.  As I watched one of the accompanists, I noted that she had a number of rings on her fingers.  There was even a wedding ring.  And then I looked at my finger.

I had put my wedding ring on at our wedding ceremony.  As a symbol of my love and devotion to my wife, Jill.  I had said I would wear the circle of devotion until “death do us part.”

And death has parted us. 

So this morning I took a few moments and was able to remove the ring.  I placed it beside Jill’s wedding ring (which I had collected upon her death).  I cried, and cried.

Just  one small metal circle – but there’s a lot that fit inside that ring! 

Phrase.  That works.  For me.

I’ve become known amongst some people for my slogans.  Most are lame (they need another leg to walk on?).  Some are just a thought for the moment.  Others seem to last.  Below I’ve listed a few “newer” slogans – each original (they didn’t come from a book or video or from some guru!).

Here’s a church phrase.  I started with – “Committed to the community” a few years ago.  We have a soccer field partnered with the town – because we believe in this phrase.  I’ve been looking at adding two further thoughts – “Submitted to Christ,” (which goes along with the deep roots of the gospel – that at the heart is Christ in You!) and “Eager to serve” (which touches on our desire to live out Christ with anticipation) 

With Jill’s death recently, someone shaped this phrase for me:  “I’m missing a piece but I’ve got Peace.”

Riding home from Eatonia (anyone know where that is?), I asked the person in the seat next to me how you know when your perfectionism is killing you.  The reply:  “When what you want to do is no longer what you like to do.” 

I do like the phrase I heard at table this week.  “Forget four letter words – use five instead.”  We were talking about faith and trust at that point.

What are some slogans that you have developed over the years (I’m looking for ones that you made up or adapted to your own situation)??

BTW:  In Bill Hybels recent book – Leadership Axioms – he makes the point that good leaders live with slogans (slogans may get criticized but they are remembered!).