Monthly Archives: April 2006

I’ve learned over the years to feel deeply for those I minister to.  While I see the positive as well as the realistic, I’m not often overcome.

But today I sat in my car and cried – not long – but still I cried.

This past year my brother died of cancer.  These last twelve months have seen others struck down with various illnesses.

But today, I heard a report that was not encouraging.

Three years ago I swam with my father-in-law across a river.  He didn’t make it.  I felt totally inadequate as the family asked me to spearhead a good portion of the funeral service.

But today, I sensed that same inadequacy – unable to change events and yet called to participate.

Five years ago my wife was close to death.  We prepared wills and stood close to each other and cried.  The sting of death was closer than ever.

But today, I felt a lash upon my heart and I wish I could protect others from the hurt.

God, bless us all this night!

This morning some friends left for Calgary. 

Lloyd has been taking chemo for the last while.  He has felt good at some points.  At other points he notices his frailty.  The plan was to head to Calgary for more chemo today.  His wife and some friends accompanied him.

This past summer my brother saw his humanity pass from the scene of this earthly existence.  He fought cancer, and some of the indications of his frailty in his last months are those I now see in my friend.  At the same time there is a sense of uncertainty in my mind.   Just because my brother’s last months were enclosed in certain frailties, does that mean all similar cases will be the same?

I wonder, do previous situations dictate the present?  They can give a good indication.  They can prepare us for eventualities.  But somehow I think they do not create the present.

I guess that’s where talking to God more than just on a “crisis” basis is good.  Somehow in the midst of many prayers, these prayers for Lloyd – though looming and large – are carried by God as just as important as my daily prayers for health and safety and guidance and protection.  And, my daily prayers have shown how faithful God is to hear.

And He’s listening now.  I guess I just need to be sure that I’m listening as well!

As a child I used to sing.  Not like a song bird – up in the morning with a chirp in my mouth.  I sang off and on.  I enjoyed good melodies and had a mother who pushed all her children to “do music.”

I soon learned that I was unusual.  I could sing louder and longer than a lot of people around me. 

I still do.  Which is why singing the national anthem is a real pain for me.  People swivel their heads.  My wife moves over two seats.  The chosen anthem singer wonders who’s competing with them!

When I sing a solo at a function, the sound person usually sets the microphone at “off” or close to it.

So, if you are with me and I burst into song . . .  Please – don’t cover your ears or swivel your head!  Just act natural! 

And, for my sake, pull  your earplugs out after I’m out of the building.

Our ladies banquet was held last night.  Called “From the Heart”.   150 attended!

The featured speaker was my wife.  They (the banquet committee) said I couldn’t attend.  Something about an “only women” policy! 

So, I snapped a picture the night before.  I stayed home and babysat — a one year old and a seven year old — so their mother could attend.

Her life story was very powerful.   From heart operations to pacemakers, childrearing, and putting up with me!  Death and life situations became quite personal as she talked.  Laughter and crying all in an hour’s talk!

I’ve lived 30 years of life with her. I’m always amazed she is still alive.  And more amazed, that through all her sufferings, she still puts God first place.

So, need a good speaker?