Monthly Archives: May 2013

My stationery bike today turned over 2,200 miles this morning.  The last reading which I journaled was when the bike turned 1,200 miles – on August 1st, 2012.  That is 292 days ago. 

In other words, I have biked around 3 miles a day for almost 300 days. 

Going nowhere!

Except that my leg muscles stayed in shape.  My upper body exercise while on the bike made sure my back is still in good shape.  And my respiratory ability is good.

The disciplines of life are well worth the moments that they take.  I have found that stability in life can be partially maintained by good exercise.  For around 20 minutes a day, my body wakes up.  My mind as well.  When I am done those 2o minutes there is a new sense of perspective and a spring in my step. 

Check back in another nine or ten months.  Let’s see if another 1,000 miles has been covered!!

Sometimes I wonder how life works. 

In the fall of this year I had two plants I was watering.  Both had blossoms on them previously.  Now they were just sticks or foliage.  Someone told me they had to winter the year and in the spring they would blossom.

One is a begonia, the other – the other an African violet – I think??

Over the winter I continued to water them.  The begonia was particularly interesting.  The stick that was there grew a bit, even started to twist and turn in new ways.

I went away for a few days last week.  When I came back flowers were blooming – almost in full force.  Yesterday, a day after the first anniversary of my wife’s death, they were out and about.  The colour was beautiful.  Just months before there were no flowers and I almost thought they were about to die.

I kind of think my life over this past year has been much the same.  While others may have looked on, they may not have seen blossom on the way – they may even  have seen  barrenness and my branches taking new paths.  But now, somehow there is a spring occurring in my life.  I am sensing blossoms appearing.

I wonder how life will look a few months from now??

Yesterday was a combination of personal and work life. 

I maintain a job which, on balance, is enjoyable.  I maintain a personal life, which on balance, is enjoyable.  Both have their ups and downs.

This past year in particular.

My wife passed away on May 17, 2013.  In the midst of all that, I continued to serve as pastor at the Kindersley  Alliance Church.

I have weepy days.  I am struck by “who knows what”, and I am propelled into memories.  They remind me that the combination of Jill’s qualities was unique.  Although I am going to be remarrying, I will not find the same qualities in a new wife.

I have administrative days.  I am struck by the life of ministry, and I am propelled into memories.  They remind me that Jill’s qualities of ministry partnership were unique.  I am having to find new combinations of ministry, but none will be the same.

Can I say I have done all things well? 

I have certainly been, more than once, in God’s presence wondering what is to come next.  I have sought to be honest and forthright in all I do.  But my own evaluations tell me that certain areas have been neglected – or perhaps more rightly put, my life is changing and new priorities are arising.

What will another year look like?

Coming out of this past year, I am learning that life can change overnight – and it did!  Cling to God, hold all else lightly.  Seek others who will put God first and ride the waves with them.  Tomorrow is likely, but not guaranteed.

One year later!

One year ago, at about this time of he morning, I was on the road.  With my wife, Jill.  Off to a doctor suggested stress test.  Jill’s heart was broken from birth and had recently deteriorated (as we soon realized only too well).  We were checking to see how broken and what could be done.

The day was to be a quick in and out to the hospital.  The result was cardiac arrest and the following day Jill’s body remained in the Cardiac Care Unit while her soul now rested with Jesus.

These are not easy things to speak of.  But they are reminiscent of a very loving and worthwhile relationship.  I would not trade those 35 years of marriage – period!!  We endured differences and enjoyed likes.  We mentored others and learned our own self disciplines.

In a summary of our lives, on her last day we looked at each other and asked if there was anything we needed to say to each other.  There was no underlying tension or unresolved issues.  We sat and held hands and said we loved each other.

“Until death do us part.” 

Sweet love is not to be easily dismissed, and this year has seen many of what I call “weepy days”.  Tomorrow I have set aside time to just “be” in memory of Jill.  Part of the day will include time with others – but there will also be time alone.

In my heart I treasure Jill.  I’m not sure much else needs be said.