Yearly Archives: 2015

Each year is a new experience.  We celebrate birthdays, wedding anniversaries, even sobriety.

Today, I commemorate the third year since my first wife passed away.  If I were to talk of the last three years, transition would be the first word that comes to mind.  Lots and lots!

I remember back three years to that day I held Jill in my arms as she collapsed, certain that something had happened to her heart.  She was one of the best gauges of her own health I have ever seen. 

She knew. 

Within 24 hours, despite superb care in the Cardiac Care Unit, she was dead.

We sang over her in the last hours.  Friends and family gathered.  The memories are vivid.

And then she walked in her next moment without heart problems.  With her friend, confidante and rescuer – Jesus.  That picture, for me, is as vivid as those last hours of gasping breath and dying mercy.

These things stand out to me on this anniversary!

So, seven of us are sitting around a table at a senior center.

As we chat, we laugh and reminisce.  The seniors at the table (oops, I forgot, we were all over 60 – so, there were 5 “senior” seniors and two of us “juniors”) talked of the old days and living in these new days.

Eventually we looked at each other.  My aunt and her husband were there.  Another lady had a sister who had married the brother of another man at the table.  And as we went round the table, this was a time of discovery of who was just continued.

In the end, we were all related, by blood or marriage.

Not too often that happens, but it is one blessing (and some days curse) of living in a small town.  I was glad to announce that I would be buried in this town.  They were glad as well. 

Even that thought had its meanderings, as we talked about where in the cemetery we would be buried.

OH . . . the fun of growing old with those who know who you are.

We were able, yesterday, to buy a house – officially.

Now for the fun that we have been anticipating!

OK, sometimes there are times of anxious anticipation.  What will need to be changed and fixed?  What do “we” want to change and fix?  How will our own fashions dictate the new fashion of our home?

This is the time where we create a new home together.  After almost two years of marriage, we will experience a larger project than where the cereal should be stored, or how many chairs should sit around the dining room table.

The next step!

What a joyous time this will be!

OK, there may be a few points of disagreement and perhaps a little bumpy ride, but we both are committed to working together to create this new home!  Is there a better way to live life?

There is much that looks the same.  The walls have not changed, the stove is still in place and the furnace is still running (for the middle of May, one would wish otherwise).

Packing boxes have taken over other parts of the house.  My wife had planned on packing three boxes a day.  I had planned on culling one bankers box a day.  High hopes – so far we are coming close.

Which means the house, alongside those areas with a lived in look, also has a move out look.  The exact date is yet to be determined.  This is preparation time. 

Waiting is not an easy task.  Perhaps the primary task of waiting is to be still while continuing daily activities.

There is no reason to doubt the current direction – but seconds pass, then minutes and then days.  And you are left with naked hope and a calling that is audible but the sender is unseen.  Sounds like a definition of faith.

Perhaps, as  one recent author has stated, we need to replace the word faith with trust.  When I lean into the future, I trust that I am protected and directed.  When I see an unexpected event sweep away “my” plans, I trust in God’s plans.  When I hear nagging voices harshly criticize my impossible adventure, I trust in God to fulfill what he has spoken.

And so today, I begin, reminded to “Be still, and know that I am God.”