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Reflecting with a number of us who have been around for the last few decades, we are amazed at the previous generation.  Amazed that they are no longer with us.  Or are a shadow of their previous involvement.

I think I have had an unconscious idea that people will live – perhaps on this earth for centuries.  I know that is not supported by reason.  I know that is desired by a closeness and camaraderie that develops over the years.

I would like to magically wish that no one would die.  I would love to have my previous wife, my father, my brother, my church friends, and many others who would walk my daily path with me.

They do not.

Which is why grieving is more than just for a moment.  Yes, in the moment of death, I find that emotions overwhelm, and plans are changed, and life takes on a new look.  But years later, a memory may arise, a familiar situation intrude, and even a celebration be interrupted by the past.  And the wish arises that that person was around.

I believe, with a hope others do not have, that life continues after death.  There is indeed comfort in that.  The Bible talks of that comfort – while placing that thought in the midst of the hardship of a moment where someone’s death is being remembered. 

And so, we have two sides.  Comfort and grief.  Both at the same time.  To try and dismiss one or the other is to miss the fulness of human life. 

May God comfort us, while not being withdrawn from loving memories!

What fun yesterday to sit with a group of seniors (OK, they are of the group of older seniors – meaning mostly over 80).  I asked them a simple question. 

How do you continue to disciple your adult children in the faith of Jesus Christ?  The underlying assumption is that we are never meant to abandon our children – regardless of age, but to always seek to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (a statement that is often used in dedicating children to God).

Now, for some that means that their children are over 60 – and in the senior range themselves.  Others have great grandchildren that are young adults!

Example was the first thing that arose.  Some talked of how their parents had chosen certain actions that expressed their faith in God.  Sabbath keeping, honest practices, family solidarity.  They had themselves maintained active contact with their children (our day and age means often our children do not live in the same place as we do).  For those who spoke, the choice was to make sure their own lives were lived according to their Christian principles.

Other thoughts included prayer, never giving up, service to the children. 

What other ways can parents of adult children continue to disciple their children?

Last night we were on our way around the block together.  The exercise was important to our lives – both my wife and I are over our usual weight, and other body measurements agree.  We walked fairly fast, not sweat breakingly fast, but fast enough.

As we walked up the main street of our town, I noticed a truck pass us and pull into park.  Out jumped a friend of mine who had moved to another town a few years ago.

He was currently in town to do some training for his company.  His wife had hoped to accompany him, but had end of church year events happening.

As we approached each other, I was glad to see him.  He was an encouragement to me in my ministry, and continues to connect with the church and myself.

As we shook hands, I introduced him to my wife.  He was glad to meet her and expressed that.  Our conversation ranged over family, church, fun and life in general.

Walking away, I realize that God somehow allows circumstances that otherwise I am unable to plan.  For this I am thankful!

When you cast your thoughts back a few months, 6:00 in the morning was steeped in darkness.  Today the shades of orange tinge the sky as I write these thoughts.

I have been reminded that almost two years have passed since my first wife, Jill, passed away.  I am working on some arrangements for that day that will be a reminder and I hope an encouragement.

Days were dark as that winter season in life began.  I have had many thankful days since.  I want to gather those “thankfulnesses” into a group.  I’m not sure how that will look at this moment, but I know that I am called by God to be thankful. 

I also want to touch base with people.  Perhaps this is the hardest – and I realize the intensity of a death brought many people back into my life.  As things normalized (or took on a new normal), the  need for constant contact became less.  Now, as part of that thankfulness, touching base again would be helpful.

As I write these words, I also recognize the various levels of grief that surface at a time like this.  For all the projects and plans, I know that I must leave space for “alone” grief first.  As much as pushing forward into a new day is necessary, releasing the past day is also necessary.  Both make for health.

So, if my plans are delayed, that is just what it is.  The delay will not be a lack of care for others, but a time for me to relive, refocus and renew.

Now, I have to ask myself – how am I going to carve out that space in my life?