On alder courting

Yesterday I had one of those conversations.  Doesn’t happen often.  In fact, sure not to happen often.  Prompted by the internet age.  Yet related to old age.

A lady phoned me who had relatives that once lived in Kindersley.  Their last name was Baker.  She figured maybe I was a relation.  She had tracked me done through the internet.  As I researched a bit last night, I found I probably was – back about 3 – 4 generations ago.

In the midst of our genealogical discussion she mentioned a relative (an uncle, I believe) that had been widowed in the last few years.  Apparently around my age.

She was going to forward to this uncle the URL for my blog (which merely means she would tell him to check out my blog).  She had seen my rather personal comments on the death of my wife, Jill.  They had given some sense of forward movement that she felt her uncle needed.

As I thought on this, I began to think that perhaps what I have experienced could help others.  This has been in the back of my mind,  but a little too far back to touch.  Yes, I blogged, upon my wife’s death, to work through difficult times.  But now I’m wondering . . .

I have purposely not talked much about the next step in my process of widowhood.  Maybe because I didn’t realize that our society seems to have a disconnect with alder courting.  We have sessions on grief counseling, on financial management, on retirement – but I’m not so sure we have come to a sense of alder courting.  We do well helping young people form relationships and date.  But the literature for “old” people is not quite as abundant.  With a proliferation of divorce and the inevitable death of spouses, those over 50 who are dealing with alder courting is rising.

“Alder” is merely another way of saying “Elder” or “Older”.  We have Aldermen (or persons!) in government.  So, I start by calling this “alder”.

“Courting” is another way of dealing with the process leading to marriage.  I have blogged previously on this.  I laugh when I mention the term – seniors get the idea – younger people don’t even know what I’m referring to or they just call it “so high school!”

What has it looked like for me to go “alder courting?”  Might be interesting reading!!