In marriage counseling sessions recently I’ve come to realize how little we do together when we are together. Couples complain that “we don’t spend enough time together!”
After a few minutes of discussion the obvious becomes obvious. Most couples are together in the same room or the same building or the same vicinity for extended periods of time each day. But when confronted about how long they spend together each day, the tally is often perceived as only mere minutes, if at all.
So, what are we really saying when we say “we don’t really spend time together?” How do you understand this statement?
Maybe it means they aren’t doing something fun away from the house together. Spending time together to some people may mean activities rather than sitting around home in the same room. I say this because that is what Sue means when she says that…..it means we have been home too much drifting along in our own worlds in the same house.
Good point! God created a whole world of people – and when we can experience people together as a couple there is another added experience that expands our life – rather than the “same old, same old!” Having said that, some days I don’t mind the “same old” after a tiring and busy day!!
I don’t think you need to be away from the house doing something special, but I do think it means taking an active interest in what your spouse is saying/doing even in the midst of the ‘same old.’ Sitting beside each other out at a movie or driving somewhere without speaking is spending time in the same space, but it’s not really together. Even when we go visiting and end up segregating ourselves, wives with wives, husbands with husbands, that’s not together time. However, even doing routine things like laundry, dishes, or digging potatoes can be together time if you decide to focus on the other person rather than on yourself.