I was talking to my sister today.
Over the years she has cared for both my brother and my father as they were dying.
I told her about a friend who was “almost dead”. She laughed. Not very often we are willing to say that someone is “almost dead” – “failing”, maybe, “deteriorating”, perhaps, “almost dead”, too blunt! We then compared where that person’s life expectancy would be on a scale of 1-10. Nothing nice about a “1” which is way too close to being a zero!
We talked about how the hard part of dying for a patient is that visitors never want to talk about the dying. We discuss other events, and even skirt around the issue of death with euphemisms (a great word for words that are supposed to soften the blow of hard issues).
Wouldn’t it be nice to cry with those who want to cry? To hear about the worst part of the day when there are only days left? To even fly away into a fantasy world when reality sucks?
So, if you are visiting someone who is close to the edge (a nice euphemism for being “almost dead”), talk about it. They will appreciate you for it!