I was talking to another widower today. I mentioned to him that I was spending my day cleaning out some of Jill’s stuff. He immediately related to that, and shared the mixed emotions that come at a time like that.
You know you have to move on. You don’t want to disrespect or dishonor your loved one. You are torn between keeping things which are only elevated from being “stuff” by some thin thread of a connection to your wife, or truly saving a few things that have lasting value.
I chose to discard a lot of clothing. Jill had talked for years of discarding clothes as soon as she found a better wardrobe. Well, she’s got one, and I don’t need to keep the one that is here! Alright, I did keep a sweater her mother knit, and a t-shirt with the cardiovascular system on it. Both reminders of relationship and life as she lived it!
Then there was the 2012 Valentine’s card that told of how she had looked for a man to marry who would enrich her life, share her faith and cherish her love. And then she wrote, “thru all the years, you are still the one. Love, Jill.” That I kept!
I may remarry. Jill and I talked about that. She would have expected that to happen. I’m not expecting to forget the almost 40 years with Jill. In fact, as one lady pointed out to me today, that love for my wife will be a sign to someone that I can be trusted with love! I was humbled to think that others looked at my marriage that way.
So, to Jill – you filled my life with more than I expected and more than I deserved!